The Netherlands 2025, 53 min, HDA DOXY Production
by Simonka de Jong
The Ten Commandments: Am I a Killer?
A personal documentary conversation about the ability to kill. For filmmaker Simonka de Jong, her aversion to killing prompts her to search for the killer within herself. How do we relate to today's violent wars and is it possible to remain non-violent? Is a deserter, or someone who refuses to kill in wartime, a coward or a hero?Violence and killing are intrinsic parts of our society, appearing in many forms. With wars raging around us, violence imposes itself on us—not only through conflict but also via films, television programmes, and video games. It is both repellent and thrilling, frightening yet addictive. In AM I A KILLER?, Simonka de Jong examines the Sixth Commandment, Thou shalt not kill, and her own relationship with violence.
As the granddaughter of Loe de Jong and a descendant of Holocaust survivors, de Jong has a complex relationship with violence, war, and death. She views Israel’s genocidal actions in Gaza with mixed feelings, questioning how far one can go in the name of self-defence and to what extent victimhood and perpetration are intertwined.
This leads her to ask whether she herself could kill. De Jong travels to Israel and Occupied Palestine in 2024, where she speaks with former Israeli soldiers, a peace activist, and a shooting instructor—individuals who have used violence and reflect on how it has shaped them. Veterans from Breaking the Silence, an Israeli NGO giving serving and discharged Israeli personnel and reservists a means to confidentially recount their experiences in the Occupied Territories, speak openly about the violent actions of Israeli soldiers against Palestinians. Nadav Weiman, former sniper and Executive Director of Breaking the Silence, describes a lethal operation and the euphoria he felt during it, warning de Jong that it is a path from which there is no return: “When you touch death, it clings to you.”
Nevertheless, de Jong undergoes self-defence training at a shooting range to discover what it feels like to hold a murder weapon. This brings her ever closer to the answer she seeks.
AM I A KILLER? is part of a documentary series on the Ten Commandments, produced by DOXY Films and EOdocs, in which ten filmmakers each give their take on one of the Commandments. Simonka de Jong ventured into the sixth commandment: ‘Thou shalt not kill.’
The Ten Commandments - Complete Series